


14th February

by mforpaul



Series: Valentine [2]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Developing Relationship, Drabble Collection, Established Relationship, Falling In Love, Family Fluff, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Guitars, Love Letters, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Prompt Fill, Romance, Singing, Tumblr Prompt, Undercover, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-10-28 04:22:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17780486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mforpaul/pseuds/mforpaul
Summary: Barisi Valentine's Day Prompt FillsThey include:- A secret love letter- Sonny playing the guitar- Rafael singing (twice)- A minor kissing accident- Family fluff





	1. Love letter

**Author's Note:**

> I received a handful of Valentine's Day requests and I ended up liking them. Each day I will post one prompt fill. Enjoy and I would be over the moon if you guys would be generous with kudos and comments!
> 
> (Feel free to follow me on Tumblr or Twitter @mforpaul btw.)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "Rafael writes a secret love letter to Sonny and Carmen finds it and makes sure Sonny gets it."
> 
> I am breathing for this amazing prompt!

_Sonny,_

_This is ridiculous. But there must be some way to get this off my chest and as I clearly cannot do it for real, this be it._

_It was my abuelita who told me to keep a diary. Obviously, I never kept a diary. My whole life I barely had time for a private life, where would I find the time to write every day? What abuelita had meant is to write down all the worries that I couldn’t talk about with anyone. And be sure there were many. Actually, she was right. It had helped. So again, this be it._

_Even now writing this, I struggle to find words. If I cannot even manage to find words sitting at my desk writing a letter that no one is ever going to read, how am I supposed to look you in the eyes and say it?_

_I am flattered by the admiration you grant me. I really am. It is just that it is so genuinely kind that I cannot help myself but be condescending about it. I mean wouldn’t it be weird if I would return your hero-worship with kindness? Do you know what I mean? When you look at me with those beautiful, blue eyes and your beautiful, soft face and ask me something about the law as if I am the only person on the planet who knows about this, what am I supposed to say to be nice? Maybe that is what is wrong with me, that I honestly don’t know._

_There are a lot of things about you that I don’t like. I mean, I don’t have a problem with those things in you as a person, but as someone I am interesting in I usually wouldn’t like them._

_For starters, I don’t have a thing for Catholics as I have struggled with the faith long enough myself to deal with any internalized homophobia ever again._

_There is something in me, and I admit that it could be pure envy or maybe even shame, that makes me cringe at the overly kind nature with which you meet everyone. One could think you must see why you never fit in, what makes people dislike you. It is not just that you are trying too hard. You bake cake for your co-workers, you offer your amateur photograph skills to everyone who doesn’t ask and you basically co-raise Rollins’ girls. And you do all this without being embarrassed. You should see why people feel offended by you. You don’t deserve it of course. That you refuse to change only proves how strong you are. Maybe this is where my admiration for you comes from._

_Usually, I search in people, as short as my encounters may usually be, for what I find in myself. People who love their work more than other people. People who are my age or maybe even a little older, successful and too stuck in their own ways to let anyone too close._

_Don’t get me wrong. I don’t need to spell out, which I could do at length, why you are a very attractive man. Just let me say this much: I like it when you get angry, when you draw your eyebrows together and your detective expression spills over your face. Then your eyes shine even bluer than they already do. And I don’t like you angry because I am this screwed up, I like you this way because then your passion for the things you believe in shows. And I have to admit that this is just breathtaking._

_So I can see how I like to think about having you in my bed. But just this morning, and this is why I write this letter, I imagined you to be in my kitchen. As you might guess, my kitchen is barely used but I can see you in there making breakfast. And it scares me so much that this is what I want. What scares me most of all is that if you were in my bed and in my kitchen, I would like you to stay._

_And, Sonny, this is the reason why I will never say or do anything: Besides all the problems with us being co-workers, compromising our work, which is putting sex criminals to justice after all, (and oh, by the way, are you even queer?) besides all these problems, I adore you. You and your big, stupid heart deserve all the things that make you happy in life. Quite frankly, I believe that I am not able to give you these._

_I’m such a fool. Even if this letter is only imaginary and no one is going to read this, I am not able to spell out the words._

_I guess there must be a reason why it is not called raising in love, but falling in love._

_What do I have left to say? Just be happy, Sonny, this is all I want. And if I can help you, tell me._

_Yours,_  
_Rafael_

* * *

  
Carmen hadn’t read the whole letter obviously. Indeed, she had stopped somewhere after the third paragraph, because she would never be able to look her boss in the eyes again. As curious as she is, she feels like she had walked in on some very private, very intimate moment.

Nevertheless, Carmen feels warmly touched by the vulnerability in Barba’s soft words.

Certainly, Carmen knows that behind his armor of fancy suits and sarcasm, Rafael Barba is a very kind and sweet man. A man who doesn’t trust easily and even less easily opens his heart. And for as much as Carmen appreciates him not just as her boss, but also as a person, she thinks that Barba deserves to have a life outside of his office.

Carmen had gathered from the first three paragraph that no one is supposed to ever read the letter and while she should certainly respect that, she had also gathered that Barba seems to be deeply hurt. And she thinks that there is really no need.

As she had never understood those people who don’t like to interfere in other people’s lives, she decides to do something about it. And as desired, life had done her the favor to have left the letter next to the documents of their present case that she is supposed to collect into a folder. She could feign ignorance. It is not her fault that this letter accidently got between all those rape kit reports and interrogation protocols. Barba wouldn’t even suspect her.

So far so good, so all she has to do now is to make sure that Detective Carisi picks up the folder. Given that he finds a reason to step by Barba’s office every other day, that shouldn’t be hard.

* * *

Sonny reads the letter in the elevator of the DA’s office.

He had come by directly when Carmen had called him to tell him that Barba asks him to go through the files of their present case. He had opened the case folder first chance he got when Carmen had told him that Barba is acting cranky.

But the folder, the case, everything is completely forgotten when he sees the letter.

From one second to another, his whole body turns hot.

When he arrives on the ground floor, Sonny makes a beeline for the restroom.

Inside of the restroom, he locks himself inside of a stall, puts the toilet lid down and sits down.

He reads the letter.  
He reads the letter again.  
He reads the letter a third time.

Lastly, he checks the names a couple of times. It says Sonny three times and it is signed with Rafael. Sonny also recognizes the handwriting of the DA.

Clearly, he had not been supposed to see the letter, but it had reached him. He had read it. He wouldn’t be able to pretend that it is not there.

He calls Carmen.

“Where is he?”, he asks without any greeting.

“He’s in court for the rest of the day. _Why?”,_ she asks innocently.

“Which courtroom?”

“5a.”

“Okay, thanks, bye.”

Sonny gets up and considers whether or not he should just ride back up and tear Barba ( _or should he say Rafael now?_ ) out of the courtroom for a couple of minutes. In fact, he only thinks about with what excuse he would interrupt the trial and then what he is _actually_ going to tell him?

Life crosses his plans when Liv calls him to a bank a couple of blocks away where a security camera had just caught glimpse of their perp.

As it turns out, Sonny is going to chase the perp for about four and a half blocks, to end up spraining his ankle and back at the precinct to manage to get a confession out of him.

It is nearly 1 am when Sonny finally has the chance to go home.

But there is no way Sonny can wait any longer. This is not something that anyone could ask from him. The whole day since he had read the letter, he had managed to keep it well hidden in the back of his head. His heart had been overpowered by bewildered numbness, but the shutter is open now and his emotions flow freely.

With his last drop of sanity, he takes a quick shower at the precinct and grabs his extra suit out of his locker.

He wouldn’t go back home this night.

In the cab on the way to Barba’s apartment, Sonny does what he had been wanting to do all day. Read the letter again. And again.

He still doesn’t know what to say when he knocks at Barba’s door. _You said you would help me?_

Barba doesn’t open right away, because of course the man is asleep in the middle of the night.

When he finally does open the door, he blinks at him sleepily.

“Carisi, what are you doing here? And what is this?”

He looks at the bag with the suit in his hand where Sonny also happens to hold the letter. Barba’s eyes widen in shock. “Is _this…?”_ Barba looks like someone had punched him the face. “No, you _have to_ pretend that you never saw this!” Barba hides his eyes behind his palms. “This is not real. Really, Carisi, you have to _forget_ this.”

Sonny steps inside, closes the door behind him and locks it.

Barba is now cursing in Spanish, still hiding his face behind his hands.

Sonny walks up to Barba, gently grabs him by the wrists and confidently moves his hands away from his eyes.

“No, _no,_ Carisi”, Barba mutters, but Sonny ducks to make him look him into his eyes.

He has no words.

So he just kisses him.

A minute later, they fall together onto sheets.


	2. Love song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The prompt was Rafael singing and Sonny playing the guitar, bonus if both happens. And I like bonuses.

Rafael leans with one hand in his side in the doorframe of their living room. He had been watching his boyfriend, his wonderful, amazing boyfriend, for five minutes.

Sonny is sitting on the couch with the back to him and hadn’t realized Rafael is home. A music book is spread open in front of Sonny on the coffee table.

When Sonny curses under his breath, Rafael finally clears his throat.

Sonny’s head jerks around and immediately lightens up when he sees Rafael.

“Hey Rafi!”

Sonny sits up on his heels, still holding the instrument carefully in front of him, and sticks his pursed lips towards Rafael.

Rafael leaves his position in the doorframe and closes the distance between them. As Sonny sits on the couch, Rafael needs to bow his head down to reach his boyfriend’s lips. And because he finds himself to like that position, the kiss ends up being a little longer than originally intended.

Not that Sonny minds.

When they part, Rafael huffs: “Hi.”

“Hi!” Sonny, giggling, beams at Rafael with heart eyes. “I didn’t hear you there.”

“Yeah, because you were playing _guitar_?”

“Oh yes, you didn’t know?” Sonny sits back down on the couch and indicates Rafael to sit next to him.

“Didn’t come up”, Rafael replies sarcastically while he rounds the couch and sits down as he had been told.

“Obviously, I’m not playing anymore, but I _can_ play.” Sonny gestures between the instrument and the music book.

“And how come you’re taking up that hobby again?”

“Why? You don’t like it?”

“I’m just asking you, Sonny.” And when Sonny considers Rafael with furrowed eyebrows, he adds: “I don’t have enough evidence yet to decide whether or not I like it.”

“Okay.” Sonny clears his throat. “Actually, I just found her again in my parent’s basement this morning. She was a little untuned, but still sounds good.”

“Did you use to try to pick up girls with that?”

Sonny blushes and shyly looks down to his guitar. “Yeah”, he admits. “But turns out that playing love songs for girls you like is considered more embarrassing than romantic.”

By the way Sonny doesn’t look Rafael in the eye, he immediately understands that Sonny is talking about some hurtful teenage memories. And not for the first time, Rafael thinks that he probably doesn’t know the full extent of Sonny being bullied at school.

“But still you decided to play me a song for Valentine’s Day?”

Sonny doesn’t answer. But his face turns dark red, basically burning up. Sonny sends Rafael a short look through his eyelashes and smiles tensely, before he looks back to the guitar tab.

“I just thought it would be nice”, Sonny whispers.

“Hey, Sonny.”

Rafael, suddenly overcome with sadness by Sonny’s embarrassment and admittedly very ashamed that he seems to be the cause of it, reaches out for him. “ _Cari_ _ñ_ _o_.” Rafael takes Sonny’s chin between his index finger and thumb and lifts up his face so that Sonny has to look him in the eye. Rafael is devastated to see the old unhealed wounds in the depths of his blue eyes. “It _is_ very nice. Okay? It really is.”

“Nah, it’s stupid.”

“Sonny, please.” Rafael sighs. “Don’t say that. Valentine’s Day is not until tomorrow, but I would really like to hear.”

“Rafi, you don’t have to say that.”

“No, come on. What song did you chose?” Rafael lets go of Sonny and spares a look at the music book in front of him. “ _Knocking on Heaven’s Door_?” Rafael raises a brow.

“Actually, it’s just a song I used to play a lot. I was just trying to get back into it.”

“It’s a nice song. Go play. I want to hear it.”

“Rafi, you really don’t have to…”

Rafael stops Sonny with a heartfelt sigh. He closes his eyes for a moment, only to avoid to look into his boyfriend’s humbled face. It is pathetic how Rafael not even for a second can bear to see him hurt.

“I will sing along.”

Sonny still fumbling nervously with the strings needs a double take to look back into Rafael’s face.

“You will _what_?” Sonny stares at Rafael with big unbelievable eyes.

“Yes, I can sing. I am surprised my mother hasn’t rubbed that one under your nose yet.”

Rafael shifts his weight, secretly thanking his mother because she had probably kept that secret so that he could use his little talent in a moment like this.

“You can _what_?”

“I was the star in drama club.”

“Rafi, you really don’t have to do…”

“Sonny, you know how hard grand romantic gestures are for me so will you just play, please?”

Sonny considers Rafael for a long moment, but then he takes the pick between his fingers and starts playing.

And Rafael sings along. He hadn’t sung in a while and he hadn’t warmed up his voice, but he is sure his voice sounds soft and warm anyway. Sonny’s fingers dance over the strings with ease, eliciting tender tones out of the instrument. The song is really nice, so Rafael closes his eyes to feel the melody and the emotions. He tries to put what he feels into his voice.

After he finished the chorus, it takes a while for Rafael to realize that Sonny had stopped playing.

Rafael opens his eyes again and awkwardly clears his throat.

Sonny’s face has now smoothed, the hurt from only minutes ago is replaced by pure awe.

“Rafi”, he huffs. “This is _beautiful_.”

“Thank you.” Rafael tries to smile, but somehow feels inexplicably embarrassed. Why it is still so hard for him to show that he cares, Rafael doesn’t know. “I really liked you playing.”

“Thank you.” Sonny’s lips form a small, but fond smile. “You remember when I told you that I thought I couldn’t love you more?”

Rafael only replies with a look.

“Well”, Sonny says and gestures between them.

Rafael interrupts him before he can elaborate. “You are really sweet. I still don’t know what you are doing with me.”

“You are doing this for me and still you ask?”

“What this? _Singing_?”

Sonny considers him with a small smile. “Yeah”, he says finally, nodding. “Singing.”

Rafael shakes his head, but he cannot deny the love blossoming in his chest.

“I love you. And thank you for, you know, playing for me.”

“I love you, too, Rafi.”

They both lean in for a kiss and smile against each other’s lips. Rafael’s heartbeat still raises ridiculously when Sonny kisses him. The kiss is short and when their lips part, they rest their foreheads together.

“Rafi?”

Rafael hums in response.

“Are you tired or can we have sex?”

Rafael smirks, as unease he sometimes still feels in intimate moments like these, he especially loves Sonny for always wanting to express his affection in a very particular way.


	3. Love undercover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The prompt by smindersonfan was "slipping the tongue". Difficult, but nice. It turned out to be a small undercover drabble.

Barba had made it very clear from the beginning.

_“For the sake of the case I am playing along.”_

_Also: “There’s nothing that I’d rather like to do on a Saturday evening than blowing up prostitution rings.”_

_And: “You know I hate losing.”_

So there they are. In the backroom of a rather fancy restaurant, waiting for the “party” to begin.

When a slick-haired man with bad teeth had asked them to follow after they had told him the password of the evening, Carisi had felt Barba next to him tense up. Of course, the lawyer is not used to circulate between clients and pimps as one of their own. This is why, following the impulsive need to calm him down, Carisi had reached for Barba’s hand and dragged him along. Barba’s warm hand had fitted perfectly into his. Carisi’s heart had been in his mouth when they had entered the room holding hands, like a real couple would. Thus, for the sake of their case they had made the right entrance.

“Don’t be so handsy”, Barba had whispered all the same when he had let go of Carisi’s hand.

If the whole situation wouldn’t be as awful as it is – with them trying to stop a human trafficking ring -, Carisi would like to enjoy the unusual situation that the ADA is caught up in an undercover situation. With him. More specifically with him as his _husband_.

Carisi is screwed.

He knew he was going to be screwed the moment Barba had walked up to him looking like _this_. Illegally handsome in his simple black-white combination.

As the evening goes along, Carisi finds Barba to play his role well. Smiling charmingly, making easy small-talk all the while swirling his Scotch glass in his hand.

Following a sudden wish to impress the prosecutor with his own undercover skills, Carisi shows teeth for his most confident smile and easily places his arm around Barba’s shoulder. By the touch Carisi’s body immediately heats up from head to toe. To his dismay Carisi cannot deny that his fantasy, Barba in his arms, somehow feels incredibly right.

While their dialog partners obviously believe the act, Barba however later murmurs to him: “Don’t get so touchy.”

Their undercover mission suddenly threatens to go downhill when a familiar face enters the party. A very familiar face. Indeed, a face that they see very often in the courthouse. No one else than Judge Spacey seems to be a client at this party.

Both Barba and Carisi had a little camera hidden in one of their buttons, but they had no way to communicate to with the squad outside as they had to hand off their phones for security reasons before entering the party. Obviously, they want to catch Judge Spacey on the party which is why it is crucial that he wouldn’t recognize Barba and Carisi and clear off before the special unit busts the scene.

In an epiphany Carisi says to Barba: “Kiss me.”

Barba looks at Carisi with eyes widened in shock: _“No!”_

“There is no other way”, Carisi insists.

“I’m not gonna kiss you.”

Out of the corner of their eyes while trying to hide their faces, they see Judge Spacey moving along the room coming dangerously close to them.

So Barba steps close to Carisi. He wraps his arms around Carisi’s waist and approaches his lips. Carisi’s breath hitches, his heart raises impossibly fast.

“Don’t get slippy”, Barba whispers hotly against his mouth before he closes the gap.

And suddenly, Carisi forgets everything around him. Barba lips feel a lot softer than he had imagined. They press so gently against his that Carisi for a moment fears that his knees will give way. And Barba smells about as amazing as Carisi had imagined, like elegant cologne, like Scotch and most of all very manly. It’s so intoxicating that his mind stops working. Their lips move so beautifully in sync against each other that Carisi doesn’t even realize when he naturally slips the tongue.

The moment it happens, Carisi stops short.

But to his surprise, Barba keeps kissing him.

He parts his lips and entangles Carisi’s tongue with his own.

Carisi doesn’t know for how long, but they get lost in the kiss. Carisi even dares to touch Barba at his shoulders.

What finally pulls them out of their trance is someone screaming: “NYPD. Nobody moves!” When everyone starts screaming around them, they still part slowly, keeping their eyes locked with each other.

“Come to my apartment later”, Barba whispers before he moves away as if nothing has happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to give kudos and comment!


	4. Love song II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "Rafael singing 'Besa me mucho' to Sonny on Valentine's Day".
> 
> It's the perfect prompt for Barisi, except would Barba sing, like really?

Barba wipes his hand over the steamed mirror so that a little window appears and he can see his own face.

He smiles from one ear to the other.

Usually, Barba hates Valentine’s Day. Not that he had ever in his life really celebrated one, but he hates it anyway. This year though, this year is different.

Barba rubs his hair dry with a towel and starts combing it into his preferred coif. As he had shaved before the shower, he puts on his cologne now. For tonight, he had chosen his most seductive one.

He leans onto the sink and puts his face closer to the mirror. He looks good. And most of all, happy.

Humming a melody, he walks into his bedroom in order to choose his outfit for the night.

Actually, he did have a Valentine’s Date once. It had been in his last year at Harvard and the guy he had been seeing at the time had still lasted. He had taken Rafael to a drive-in theatre, but had deliberately parked in the back so that nobody could see them make out. In the end, he had only held him by his sweaty hand throughout the whole movie. The date had sucked incredibly.

This had been the year that Barba had finally understood that he with his life choices and work ethics is better off not trying to find a relationship.

All the more foolish he feels now for how giddy he feels in light of his Valentine’s Date tonight.

But this year is different.

In fact, everything is different since Dominick “You can call me Sonny” Carisi Jr. has ended up in Barba’s bed three months ago. Because Carisi had done what he always does: He had _lingered_ , he had been _persistent_. And surprisingly, Barba hadn’t minded. On the contrary, Carisi had touched his heart in a way nobody else had ever before. And all the more Barba is still surprised that he had reached out for that feeling and had allowed himself to be happy.

Happy, this is how he feels now every day.

By now humming the melody a little louder, he starts to go through his shirts and quickly decides on a light pink. It’s the shade of roses plus Carisi likes the color on him.

He is so stupid. Not on his life Barba would have ever imagined to dress himself up for anyone other than himself. But again, everything is different now.

Barba had made reservations in a very nice restaurant. It had even been his suggestion. Admittedly, it had been his suggestion after Carisi had awkwardly asked him if they are going to exchange Valentine gifts. Barba had refused, no gifts, but a date. Carisi in turn had insisted to pick him up. And Barba had felt weirdly touched by that rather classic move.

While he wears on his Burberry shirt, blazer and dress pants Barba starts singing the melody in humble “na, na, na”-sounds.

Until today Barba cannot understand what it is about that man that makes his brain so stupid.

With a fond smile Barba thinks about their first night though. They had been extremely drunk and sleeping together had been an extremely bad idea, but Barba remembers how absolutely smitten he had been by Carisi’s kiss.

Barba raises his voice a little more while he fumbles at his collar.

Carisi is of course a very handsome man, his ass and the incredibly blue eyes had made it easy for Barba to ask him back to his apartment. But it had been only that night that he had started to realize how absolutely beautiful Carisi’s wonderful kissable lips are.

“ _Besa, besa me mucho_.”

Barba walks over to the drawer where he keeps his cufflinks. His body thrums in anticipation. He is sure that Carisi is going to love the restaurant and most of all, Barba would get to stare at those plush lips all evening.

“ _Como si fuera ésta noche la ultima vez_.”

Barba’s face aches from smiling, but this is a feeling that he experiences more and more often last three months. He is happy, that is just what he is, he thinks while he is rummaging in the drawer for the right set of cufflinks.

“ _Besa, besa me mucho_.”

In the drawer he finds a photograph of him and his boyfriend. They hadn’t disclosed yet, but this is what Carisi had called him in front of Rollins. “My boyfriend will take me out to dinner”, Barba had overheard him saying the other day. Even at the memory, his chest still swells with pride.

“ _Que tengo miedo a perderte. Perderte después_.”

Barba inspects the picture. It is a selfie of the two of them at St. George Ferry Terminal. The cold had bitten both of their cheeks and noses red, but they don’t seem to bother a bit. Carisi has his cheek pressed against Barba’s, beaming with glittering eyes into the camera. And Barba just looks happy.

“ _Besa, besa me mucho_.”

Barba has finally decided on heritage stipe cufflinks from Burberry when he has the idea that Carisi would probably like it if he sang for him. Nobody at SVU, _of course_ , knows that Barba has a nice voice. His pride forbids. But Carisi is a man of grand gestures and just the right type of silly to be absolutely besotted by this.

“ _Quiero tenerte muy cerca. Mirarme en tus ojos_.“

But then again, Barba’s pride forbids.

“ _Verte junto a mi. Piensa que tal vez ma_ _ñ_ _ana_.”

But surely, for Carisi Barba would consider.

“ _Yo ya estaré lejos, muy lejos de ti_.”

But only consider.

“ _Besa_.” Heartily Barba turns around. “ _Besa me_ …”

Barba stops short when he sees Carisi, looking absolutely gorgeous in a beige coat with a red scarf, standing in his bedroom door frame.

“… _mucho_.”

Carisi looks at him with smiley eyes, a fond yet surprised smirk plays around his delicate lips. Those lips that Barba is thinking about kissing all day and now doesn’t want to hear a word from them.

Silence stretches between them.

Finally, Carisi points with his finger over his shoulder. “The door wasn’t locked and I was gonna give you a speech about how easily you could be robbed.”

“Oh, okay.”

Barba looks at his boyfriend with big eyes. He is not sure how long Carisi had stood there, but he is sure it had been enough to grasp the general situation that Barba had been singing soppy love songs like a love struck fool while looking at pictures of his boyfriend.

“You are absolutely perfect, Rafi!”

“Uh.” Barba’s heart dropped.

“I’m sorry, I know it’s early an’ everything, but I can’t stand another moment without saying it.” Carisi had crossed the room and stopped in front of Barba. He locks eyes with him. “I love you, Rafi.”

Barba’s heart starts to flutter so fast that his head gets dizzy. He feels his cheeks burning up in flames. An excited tingle expands in his stomach.

Barba swallows hard.

But he only manages to whisper.

“I love you, too.”

Rather shyly, they both smile at each other before they lean in for a long, meaningful kiss.

They only break when Carisi, not coyly at all, starts to peel Barba out of his clothes. “We have ten minutes before we need to go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't leave without a comment or kudos!


	5. Love home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "I never thought I'd say that, but with you i can see it."
> 
> It screams Rafael saying this to Sonny about children. So I tried not to do that, kind of worked, kind of didn't. But I imagined a conversation like this somewhere way beyond [ my Slow Burn series.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15818706/chapters/36824757)
> 
> I know it's a stretch.

“I bought this apartment the year I graduated Harvard!”

“Rafi, I know, I know, but we need to think a little rational here.” Sonny circles his hands around each other so to stress his point.

“Rational? You want to give up a _Manhattan_ apartment! An apartment in Manhattan, I repeat.”

“I know.”

“In this economy!”

“But we have to think about what’s best for us.”

“This is a very nice apartment.”

“Yes, but we cannot live in a two bedroom apartment with two children. I mean, even for us it’s small.”

Rafael pouts.

Because that is all that he can think of as a reply in that moment. Of course, he had already come to the same conclusion. Which doesn’t mean that he is _fine_ with giving up his home that he had lived in for the past twenty years.

Sonny walks towards him.

“Rafi, you know, I love your home -”

“It’s also your home.”

“- but when the kids come, it’s just not enough.”

Sonny is gently squeezing Rafael’s shoulders, ducking his head so that Rafael has to look into his partner’s eyes. But Rafael prefers to pout and deliberately looks away.

“Rafi, will you at least listen to what I thought we could do?”

“I don’t think I have any other chance.”

“Okay, then look at me.”

Rafael bites his lips, but he guesses that he won’t be able to pout his way through this argument. So he lifts his chin, crosses his arms in front of his chest and looks at Sonny expectantly.

“You know we were talking about you asking whether you can reduce your work load.”

_Yes_ , Rafael still wonders how Sonny had been able to talk him into that one.

“But you know that probably would only be possible if you’d ask for a transfer into another borough.”

And this man had managed to make him suggest to start a family. But that Rafael had really heard himself to agree to reduce his workload, he still doesn’t want to belief.

“And with my upcoming promotion I can also ask for a transfer.”

Wait, _what_? Rafael’s mind must have somehow slipped away – he could blame incredibly blue eyes, a handsome face or a disturbingly arousing accent - or why was the love of his life talking about _transfers_?

“I mean with the kids, we will need help. And you know Ma and Dad already agreed to help. Plus, Teresa also lives there and Mia during the semester breaks. And Bella and Tommy just moved back, so…”

“Wait!”

Obediently, Sonny stops talking. His hands are now at his hips, his piercingly blue eyes fixed on Rafael. And Rafael is absolutely shocked how at _ease_ Sonny seems. Like this, what he is apparently talking about here, is all rational and logic and they would only need to think about to see that this is the solution for everything. As if there is nothing wrong with _suggesting_ …

“Are you saying, we should…” Rafael stops shorts, the words die dramatically on his lips. He closes his eyes for a moment and swallows hard. “That we should move to _Staten Island_?”

“Just think about it!” Rafael’s eyes widen, but Sonny keeps talking. “With the money we get from selling this apartment we can easily buy a house with a garden in Staten Island. We can even have a dog.”

“I don’t want a dog.”

“Okay, then we won’t have a dog. But think about it, my family is close, they can always help with the kids. And we will have a nice house.”

“This is a nice apartment.”

“And we can even have a guest room. Lucia could come over at the weekends and just spend the night.”

“I don’t want my mother to stay with us!”

“Rafi, during the week my family can help us and at the weekends your Ma. That’s pure luxury.”

Rafael looks at Sonny with glistening eyes.

“And you will have a whole house that you can decorate in whatever way you want.”

_He would like that._

“And you can pick up gardening.”

_How does Sonny know he would like that?_

“And I know you would like to have a cat.”

_Okay, that’s just pure guessing now._

“And the Staten Island DA’s office is not so bad. Your chances for a promotion might even be better.”

“And what are you going to do?”

“I can work for Staten Island SVU.”

“Because that worked out so well the first time.”

Sonny sends him a withering look, a little hurt, but he squares his shoulders: “It _is_ different now!” And in his sincere face, Rafael can read all the things that Sonny doesn’t have to say _: Now I am out. I’m cute and weird and not ashamed of it._

_Now I have you._

“So, Rafi.”

Totally out of the blue, Sonny takes a step forward and thoroughly kisses Rafael. When their lips part, he asks: “What do you say?”

“I never thought I’d say that, but with you I can see it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment and kudos. Love you!

**Author's Note:**

> That being said: Love loud!


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